So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
