I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
