You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
