Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
