I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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