he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is it penis luge time yet?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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