a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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