ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
