Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
