Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
