Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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