Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
