Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
