please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
