Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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