Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
