I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she told me i tasted like america
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
