Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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