I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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