I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need moral support for this bender
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
