Me too!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
