sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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