ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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