I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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