I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
