My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I enjoy the company of your penis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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