I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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