I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
we're so committed to being not committed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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