It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're like the curious george of whores
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
