remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I puked a lego.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
