epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
