i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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