I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
