its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
