You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
