she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So squirting runs in the family.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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