her vagine was all disorganized.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
