how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
