I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
