do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
