fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
