the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
