Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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