The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
