Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.

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(903): View more from Texas

As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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(303): View more from Colorado

I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.

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(818): View more from California

The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just took acid. Wish me luck.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.

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