Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95

Replies (18) Good night (4518) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace http://tfl.nu/tutd

Replies (10) Good night (1414) Bad night (4262) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school http://tfl.nu/94oh

Replies (36) Good night (6486) Bad night (1399) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j

Replies (29) Good night (2486) Bad night (4720) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281): I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/jw0e

Replies (5) Good night (2220) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again. http://tfl.nu/au9d

Replies (15) Good night (1144) Bad night (3062)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a normal friday night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan. (410): Sounds like a normal friday night http://tfl.nu/c2vx

Replies (2) Good night (1918) Bad night (792)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins. http://tfl.nu/7yz7

Replies (2) Good night (1547) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina http://tfl.nu/jm59

Replies (10) Good night (3166) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(707): View more from California

Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299

Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (418)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b

Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(867): We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/l33f

Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant? http://tfl.nu/queo

Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355

Replies (7) Good night (1948) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure. http://tfl.nu/ptmp

Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: