It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.