I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."