I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
