I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
