I can text with my tongue
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We need to get me chipped asap
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
