boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
