I bet he comes in French.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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