My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
