i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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