I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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