i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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