We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
