Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
