erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
