I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
