I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
